Dear Soul,

 For many years, I suffered with depression, bipolar and addiction. There was a deep pain in my heart. There was turmoil in my mind. There was a disillusionment with the world. And a yearning for freedom. Most of the time, I felt lost, unworthy, overwhelmed and broken. I didn't realise it at the time, but these inner challenges were some of the greatest gifts of my life. They forced me to learn how to let go and find the joy of emotional freedom. 

Now, my mission is to help others on their own healing journey.

The world felt overwhelming...

...and confusing to me. Society’s way of living seemed detached and unnatural, leaving me feeling lost and deeply lonely. This sense of alienation weighed heavily on me, bringing sadness, despair, and a longing to escape. When I was diagnosed with depression, I tried medication, but it didn’t feel like the right path for me—I couldn’t believe a pill could truly address the pain I felt inside.

Instead, I turned to alcohol, marijuana, and distractions like pornography, hoping they would ease the heartache. They offered temporary relief, but they also brought new struggles, planting the seeds for the addictions I would later face.

Yet, even in those moments, a deeper part of me still yearned for something more—an undeniable longing for true freedom. This desire would eventually guide me to a path of healing and self-discovery.

When I left my childhood behind...

...I packed my bags and set off on an adventure, hoping to outrun the pain I carried inside. I traveled to distant lands, climbed mountains, trekked through jungles, swam beneath oceans, and even jumped out of planes. But no matter where I went, my struggles came with me.

Then, everything changed. While lost on a mountain in Bolivia, I met a woman whose presence felt calm and wise. I shared my inner turmoil—my heartbreaks, breakdowns, and confusion. She listened quietly, then said, “Martin, you have to learn to let go.”

Her words struck me deeply. I knew she was right. But the real question was—how?

How do I let go?

That simple question sparked a fourteen-year journey of self-discovery. My pain became the fuel for seeking healing. When I returned from South America, I was battling both a flesh-eating parasite and deep depression. While the parasite healed in weeks, the depression lingered, leading to heavy drinking and wild mood swings. A doctor diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.I saw two paths: either continue down a destructive road, or find the root cause of my suffering. Thankfully, I chose the second. I committed to the advice I’d received on that Bolivian mountain: to learn how to let go.

I immersed myself in teachings from around the world—Hinduism, Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, and Tantra. I learned to be present, to accept my emotions, forgive myself and others, and send love to my heart. Slowly, things began to change. The darkness lifted, addictions faded, and my energy returned. This brought with it spontaneous joy and a wellspring of unconditional love. I found a great light within and a deeper resilience to embrace life's challenges.